Thursday, September 3, 2015

Tales from the Workplace, Part XXIV

I am posting stories from my job, because I think they're funny.  I've done my best to disguise my company name, even the industry, and to keep the people I write about and even some details of the situation anonymous.  If you know me, and know where I work, please don't include details in your comments.  I'll have to delete your comment and reconsider posting these stories.

An employee came in and filled out a job application.  He may have ridden with someone else, we don't always pay attention or see how people arrive at the building.  We decided to hire him, so he filled out his new hire paperwork and got to work right on the spot.  (We're weird like that.)

I called to get a drug test scheduled, and they happened to have an opening that very day (doesn't usually happen!).  So I gave him the slip that tells him he has an appointment today, he asked if he could use the phone to call his mom to ask her to give him a ride there, I tell him he'll be paid for the time, but needs to check with his supervisor to see whether they need him to come back after or if he'll be free to go.  All is well.

A car pulls into the parking lot and parks right outside our window.  This is odd, as most of our traffic involves pickups or trailers, so they can buy our product which is sold by the pallet, but this was a mini van.  Finally we realize why the van is there and its driver hasn't come in--it's the employee's mom, waiting to pick him up.  He comes out at about 15 minutes until his appointment, gets in the van, and they drive off.  Awesome.

Until nearly an hour later, when the clinic calls to ask if our employee is planning to come to his drug testing appointment.  Um, he left here with plenty of time to spare...weird!  So I call the number he gave us on his application and other materials.  It appears to be a home phone, for the "Smith residence," rather than a personal cell phone.  Whatever, I leave a message.

Another half hour later or so, I get a call, from the employee's DAD saying he found the work too difficult and won't be coming back.  Oh, and this guy is somewhere around THIRTY.  Not a high-schooler, not a fresh-out-of-highschooler.  THIRTY.

So let's summarize.  30-year-old employee applies and is hired.  Has to ride to and from work with his mommy.  Fails to appear for a drug test.  His daddy calls and tells us the work was just too hard.  Yeah.  Good riddance.


  1. You don't suppose he knew he'd fail the drug test. do you? Perhaps your company should mandate the drug test as part of the application process.

  2. I'm positive he knew he would fail the drug test. We have begun mentioning the drug testing requirement in our ad on Craigslist and up front when they apply, plus they sign a "consent to drug testing" page from our handbook during the pre-hire paperwork. However, we don't actually DO the drug testing until they've started, because we hire folks on the spot to start right away.