Tales from the Workplace, Part III

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I am posting stories from my job, because I think they're funny.  I've done my best to disguise my company name, even the industry, and to keep the people I write about and even some details of the situation anonymous.  If you know me, and know where I work, please don't include details in your comments.  I'll have to delete your comment and reconsider posting these stories.
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We had a new employee start a week ago.  He showed up for his first day, filled out his paperwork, and got to work.  The second day, he called in because he'd broken a tooth, and said he'd come in after the appointment.  He never showed up or called the rest of the day.  The third day, he showed up and worked, and also said he wouldn't be able to come in the next day because of a scheduling issue, but it wouldn't be a problem in the future.  So the fourth day, he wasn't here.  The fifth day, he called in because he'd had an injury and was at the hospital, and said he'd come in as soon as he was released, and would bring a doctor's note.  No call or appearance from him that day.  The sixth day, he called and said he still wouldn't be able to work.  Later that same day, he finally showed up with a doctor's note excusing him from work the prior day and the current day, and he indicated he'd be at work the next day.  However, having shown up to work only two days out of his first six (when you think you'd be on your best behavior), the boss has decided to let him go.  However, the boss doesn't like to fire people over the phone, so he's gonna let the poor guy show up to work and have the supervisor do the dirty work of telling him he showed up for nothing.

Except what ACTUALLY happened the next day is that the guy didn't show up, and didn't call until 10:40 to say that he was supposed to show up at 8:00, but obviously wouldn't be able to make it by then, but would be in as soon as he could.  So the boss ended up firing him by phone after all, because he told him not to bother.

Another former employee came in today, too, to see if we were hiring.  Apparently, he has quit here more than once, for other (seasonal) jobs.  He promises this time will be different.  The owner is debating whether or not to hire him back (including checking with the supervisor to see how good a worker he is).  Looking at his notes in the system, I wouldn't bother--it appears he missed a lot of work for various excuses, which doesn't really fly in a production environment where we have exactly the number of people we need on the payroll, and no more, so when any one person is out, it screws up operations for that whole day.  And if the notes are accurate, he was let go for no call / no show the first time, then rehired, then he voluntarily quit and was rehired three MORE times after that.  Sounds like a big fat NO to me, but I'm not the boss.

The boss is actually hiring him back.

(I can't figure out his rationale for who he hires, who he fires, and who he keeps around, but I guess it's not my problem, as long as I show up and do my work.)